It's so elusive, isn't it? For a minute, we have it, we feel it and then it's gone! It's like "I just had it, where did it go?" But that's the thing, isn't it? It is elusive. Maybe that's the point. If you think about it, it's very useful information... to see where we've gone unconscious and where we can bring in more consciousness. Like the wax and wane of the moon, like the ocean tides, nature ebbs and flows and so do we. Balance and resiliency are the name of the game.
It's not about maintaining balance, holding on so tightly that we're gripped for dear life, trying to control and dominate everyone and everything around us. It's about resiliency. It's about noticing how long it takes you to self correct. It's about staying present and loving yourself to make a different choice in a new, ever-present generous moment.
With a 4 and 6 year old at home, I definitely over-react more than I care to admit, as well as over-think, over-analyze, over-correct, over-step, over-indulge, over-everything... or I under-do those things, which is basically the same thing.
But I'll say this.. because I practice accessing my heart space daily, and I take time to mentally rehearse with eyes closed and with eyes open what kind of human I want to be... because I take time to commit to self care, knowing that it's not just for my benefit, but for everyone around me, my refractory period of re-balance is much shorter than it used to be. My pendulum doesn't swing quite as far and it doesn't take quite as long for me to say I'm sorry, to give myself a time-out to find my center, to adjust, to self-correct, to load up feelings of compassion for my self, to brush myself off and try again.